Stories

Most of our time in Chennai over the past few days has been spent with a lady named Shiamala Baby (Yes, that is her last name) who heads up an organization called FORWORD (Forum for Women's Rights and Development). She's an incredible lady, with an incredible story, and I think, of anyone I've met, possibly accepting Abuuna Elias Chacour, the most deserving to be remembered as a saint. Her story was...difficult to hear, and left me in silence for a long time afterwards, but I think it needs to be told, so that people can understand what still happens in India up to today.

Shiamala was born into a family with a Hindu father and Christian mother, and was raised as a Christian. Growing up she grew to love the name of Jesus, particularly after a bad episode of illness in her childhood, when her mother taught her to pray to Jesus. She went to college, and was married soon afterwards, to a fellow Christian, a wealthy man, a respected elder in the church, and a man powerful in local politics. Their marriage began happily, but soon afterwards her husband began to beat her viciously every night, encouraged and egged on by his mother, who nagged her son to keep beating until he drew blood.

Shiamala at first sought to bear up under the suffering, speaking little of it and seeking to be a good wife. But the torture continued, and grew. Her husband and his mother imprisoned her in their house to keep her from telling the wider community about her inhuman treatment, and her husband threatened to kill her if she tried to leave.

Her family, hearing only the vaguest rumors of her suffering, sought to save her. Twice her brother came to get her out, first by himself, and second with a policeman. But Shiamala was never permitted to speak to them without her husband standing over her. And when her brother and the policeman tried to take her away by force, her husband became hysterical, showed remorse, told her he loved her, promised to stop her ill treatment, and threatened to kill himself if she tried to leave him. Shiamala, despite the desperate urging of her brother, chose to stay. And when her brother had left, Shiamala's husband beat her senseless.

And so their marriage continued for ten years.

Ten years.

Every night, beaten until she bled, imprisoned, starved, not permitted to sing or pray, other than the desperate cries for help while being beaten. And all the while her husband stood in church respected and admired, snuck other women into their house, and, because of his position of power, was able to intimidate their neighbors into silently ignoring the nightly screams coming from his house.

Shiamala was trapped in her marriage not just by the power of her husband either. Single women in India are social outcasts, with few rights and no social network to hold them up. Leaving the marriage would shame her family, and, were she to run to them, put them in a constant state of danger, because of her husband's influence in the community.

But in 1986, after ten years of marriage, Shiamala had two small girls, who her husband also began to beat, and she knew that she had to escape somehow.

It wasn't an easy process. A prisoner in her own home, Shiamala was only just able to quietly pass messages along to a single sympathetic neighbor, who passed the messages along to her family. And finally, in December of '86, her brother came back one more time, with a full force of policemen to restrain her husband. And, to save her children, she finally came out of her ten years of suffering and torture.

Her husband was arrested, but because of his influence in local politics was released from jail three days later, and suffered no further penalties for his barbaric behavior. Shiamala, on the other hand, was prevented from obtaining a divorce for three whole years, all the while working as a cleaning lady for a Christian charity house (Where I've actually been staying the past few days) which protected her from her husband. But finally, after three years, she was given her divorce, and was at last free from her husband.

Her sufferings, greater than anything I can imagine, had never broken her, and she dreamed of bringing justice and empowerment to other women like her who were disenfranchised and enslaved by their marriages and their society at large. And finally, four years after leaving her marriage, she met a representative from a Swedish charity, who was captured by her passionate spirit and, after getting a proposal from her, gave her the initial funds to form FORWORD.

Shiamala works tirelessly, spending hours to drive to remote villages and organize schools and women's empowerment groups, teaching the women to join together in solidarity in order to protect their rights and transform village culture. She's also involved in poverty relief efforts, and heads up several projects which seek to legally protect the land rights of disenfranchised Dalits (Untouchables). And when we visited her, she was gracious and welcoming, having us in her home, bringing us out to several villages, and giving us gifts. And never once, despite our urging, would she herself begin eating a meal until we were all completely satisfied.

I told Kandyce after hearing her story: "I feel very young, privileged, sheltered, and useless."

I've been thinking about that a lot...because over and over again, here in India, meeting such incredible people, I do feel...very small, and very unable to do anything. I could talk about that for a long time, but my time in the internet cafe's up, and Kandyce is waiting for me.